life lately

it’s been awhile. awhile since I’ve posted, and its been far too long since I’ve felt like I have had something good enough to say. I don’t want to waste this space. ever. but something I’ve realized through this month of not posting is that creativity is good and creativity is needed. when my creative juices aren’t flowing, something is not right.

this is a creative outlet for me and something I enjoy doing. I’ve missed this little blog of mine.

life has been crazy lately. I moved back home, started my summer job, my best friend is getting married this weekend, and oh yea my boyfriend is leaving for England in 4 days. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed to say the least. overwhelmed with emotions, overwhelmed with responsibility, overwhelmed with life.

this past weekend was my last weekend with Jake before I have to say goodbye for 2 months. he was given an amazing opportunity to play soccer for an academy in England. During these 2 months he will not only have the opportunity to improve himself as a player (playing competitively and looked at by recruits!) but will also be serving in a missions capacity. This academy teams up with local churches to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ through soccer and I could not be more excited to see all that God has planned for Jake this summer.

through all of my excitement for him, I didn’t realize how hard it would be for me. 2 months without my best friend, my partner, my boyfriend. these last few weeks there was a constant battle in my mind between being so excited for him and being sad myself.

this weekend was difficult. it was a weekend full of fun and adventure. but also a weekend full of emotions.

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on Sunday we got the opportunity to go Kayaking on the Delaware river with a few of Jake’s good friends. we had a blast, and it was the perfect way to spend a hot, sunny day.

the Delaware river is not an easy body of water to take on. it is known for being challenging. there are rocks that hide under the rough waters and the river is considered pretty dangerous. but it is also calm and relaxing and breathtakingly beautiful. water was pouring into our kayaks, I got stuck between rocks, and I was terrified. rocks would come out of no where, taking me completely by surprise, and at times I thought I might tip. but the rough sections never lasted too long and we were in calmer waters in no time.

I found myself craving those rough waters. because once I was through them I felt brave. accomplished. challenged.

to risk sounding extremely lame; life is like that. life is challenging, unexpected, terrifying, and dangerous. without these times we would stay the same. we wouldn’t be stretched or challenged. and it is in these times that we grow the most.

life is also breathtakingly beautiful. full of love, full of adventure, full of joy.

and as I leaned back in my kayak as the sun beat down on me I realized that I can’t appreciate the calm, breathtakingly beautiful times without the challenging, sometimes dangerous experiences. 

these next few months will challenge Jake and I. They will force us to do things apart, something we have no experience with. we will experience fear, loneliness, and sadness. these next few months will stretch us in ways we haven’t been stretched before. but this is also an opportunity for us to grow.

and once these 2 months are over we will feel brave. accomplished. challenged.

and I will be so ready to see my man.