Discontentment

Holy cow. I am pretty bad at this whole blogging thing. And a lot of it has to do with how busy I am, or the my lack of a computer the past few months, or maybe, just maybe, it has EVERYTHING to do with  the title of this post. Because if I was being completely honest with myself, the reason I haven’t posted in forever is because I have been having an awfully hard time with contentment. In fact, I have been pretty discontent in a lot of areas. This discontent has seeped into my relationships, my self worth, my confidence, and my regard for others. Yet, the lord calls me to find my worth in him, to focus on pleasing HIM not people, to be content in what I have rather than what I am lacking. This is what He desires of me, His daughter. And yet, I often think that I don’t have enough clothes, i don’t feel beautiful, I don’t feel enough, I doubt my abilities, i question my worth and my purpose. How crazy. I am a daughter of the King and yet, I still don’t feel as though I have and am enough. So, the Lord has been working hard. And truthfully, I have been working hard. Working hard to build a daily life of contentment because truthfully, just like anything, I get to chose everyday whether I will have a spirit of contentedness. So here are some things I have realized over the past few months.

I can rock a hat like no bodies business. This is a new realization.

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Friday nights spent at home having family game night are nights I cherishIMG_7880

I have a great group of friends. Not large in numbers, but plenty full of genuine love and care for one another.

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I can cut a rug.

I have a great closet, full of thrifted pieces and trendy pieces. One of my greatest joys is reworking clothes and putting together outfits. I have to be most creative when I don’t have the latest and greatest. Thats a good thing!

I am pretty good at my job. Not because I am great at planning events (I often forget little details) or because I am always on time (I’m working on my sleep schedule), or because I am super knowledgable about children and the bible (because I still have so much to learn.) BUT I love people. I truly do. And I love to serve people. Pray for people. And right now my mission field is little people. And I get to build into them, I get the esteem privilege of helping them see there worth in Christ.

So, I’m trying. I’m trying to focus on being content and finding my worth only in Christ. “Am i now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am i trying to please people?  If i still were trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10. And thats what I am. A servant of Christ. Striving to live for him, failing often, but still serving Him.

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P H O T O G R A P H Y & the 8th grade dance

I recently (in the past few months) started using and liking my camera! I got a nikon d70 this year for christmas from a discounted online camera shop, KEH, along with a nikon 70-300 mm lens. These two got little use for the first couple of months, mainly because I was getting so frustrated with how little I knew about my camera and photography in general. I tried to look through tutorials on shutter speed, aperture, and ISO. But i was so lost. It’s taken me a while to learn this about myself, BUT i have a hard time sticking with things that I am not all that great at, or that require time to get good at. I understand how lame and pathetic that sounds but It’s true, and It’s something I am working on. Starting with my photography. I have plans for taking a photography class this summer, and have begun just bringing my camera with me places to begin simply taking photos. Sometimes thats a hurdle in itself. It’s amazing how just practicing the art of taking photos, helps in reaching the goal of taking GOOD photos (genius, i know).

My little sister is the prettiest, goofiest, funnest 14 year old i know, and has been my sidekick for most of my life. It’s hard to believe that we sent her off to her 8th grade dance last weekend. Not to mention she looked like an absolute babe. It had just rained outside and everything was so green and beautiful but i had NO idea how awesome these pictures were going to be. My number 1 goal has always been in focus subjects and blurry backgrounds (please admire the first photo- I did it!). It definitely helps that i had a beautiful subject, but i am so happy with how these pictures turned out and it was a little bit of a confidence boost for my photography skills. I can do this! And more importantly, I am GOING to do this!

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All of that to say, don’t give up because something is too difficult or because it requires time to develop the skills. The time and effort put into whatever your passions, or potential passions will be, will be well worth it. I still have no idea to shoot out of manual mode, and I edit all of my photos on my Iphone, but I am committing some time to figuring it all out and being patient with the process.

always,

Taylor

hello!

well, it’s been a while. i sure did miss this! i don’t know why it’s taken me so long to start writing on this little blog of mine, but i was starting to get nostalgic so here i am! i took a hiatus, a year hiatus, and that may have been a tad too long. in this past year i have been an RA, completed a 420 hour internship, grown in my relationship with the lord, fallen more in love, moved to Virginia, graduated college, and am about to start my first REAL job. it has been one heck of a year full of growing, learning, and loving.

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jake and taylor

i think what i missed most about blogging was the release it gave me. this blog gave me the chance to put into words my thoughts, the desires of my heart, challenges, and the daily happenings of life. so, all of this to say i think I’m gonna give this another shot. i don’t have an exact idea of how often i will post, or what i will be posting on, all i know is that i am ready to share on this blog again.

always, Taylor

Sunday Loving

this summer has been flying by. there are still way too many things on my to-do list and not enough time. Jake comes home in 2 weeks, the countdown is officially on and I cannot wait to see him. These past 6 weeks, I have missed him like crazy.

this weekend was a weekend full of party planning, food making, and family loving. it was my little brother’s graduation party and it was so fun to celebrate him but to also see all of our close friends and family. Weekends with family are always the best.

I work with children during the week, so outfit posts are few and far between. in fact, days that I look presentable are few and far between. I am tempted to post a picture of my work shirt so you can see what I look like on a day-to-day basis. kid friendly would be my description!

so here goes nothing. quite possibly my only outfit post of the summer …

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Shirt : Charlotte Russe

Skirt : Target